508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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