if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
