just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
