i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
