he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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