I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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