that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
