Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
