I'm really into asian looking animals
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
