Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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