when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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