What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
