Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
