i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
