shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
