We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This house was built for laser tag.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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