I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
