dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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