i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
