Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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