You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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