i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
