well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
