There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
