Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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