So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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