I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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