Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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