Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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