I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize