come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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