pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
