I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
