1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
