so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
