Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
