I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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