i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
