how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
