Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
