Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
