we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
