I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
