Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
