weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
