Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
