u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
