One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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