how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
