return my video game
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
