Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
