Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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