dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
