I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
